Emotionally Charged

I haven't figured out yet if being emotionally charged is actually a blessing or more of a curse. I guess at times it can be either one or both. I am a highly emotional person. I seem to wear my heart on my sleeve as the old cliche goes. I seem to cry at the drop of a hat; and when I shed those tears many times, if not most, I actually hate that I do that. I am not able to control that part of me that God made. Maybe I'm not supposed to, but there are times I want to be able to.

After the tears have subsided, another emotion will surface; depending on what reason caused me to cry will depend on what emotion will arrive next. Sometimes it is anger, sometimes it is fear, sometimes it is bitterness, and sometimes it is a combination of all of those plus maybe a few more. I am not sure, since I am not a psychiatrist, but I believe that is part of my defense mechanism, especially if the tears come from something that has hurt me either physically, spriritually or emotionally. Sometimes I get totally frustrated with myself because of all the different emotions that I can feel at one time.

After time passes and I am able to work through the different phases of my "emotionally charged" personality, I can get back on track and deal with whatever it is that caused the emotional tears to begin with. I will never say I get back to normal, because what is normal? I don't think I am normal; I believe that God made me in a unique and wonderful way.

So, I guess I will have to admit that who I am and my "emotionally charged" personality is a blessing because that is how God made me. Even though, sometimes, it really feels more like a curse.